pre-decision
hai ya, say only!words cannot express the hurttears cannot express the sorrow..all because of those four words.i try to describe the conflicting feelingsyour words wrought in me;the longing to break away from routine,the wanting to continue in that same routinethe fear that once i go back,i can never break away.knowing that once would lead to twice,twice will lead to thrice, and so on.a major decision.commitment : a huge word.pressure's mounting,time's running out.broken promises,things i've said but not upheld.half truths, no actionlies, buried in the conversations.
rejection
beneath the moonlit sky,two people sitting side by side.silence, a tangible presence,wraps them in a blanket.under the twinkling stars,a couple sits, quiet.physical wanting, blossoms like an ache in both lonely hearts.before the endless ocean,a hand reaches out, tentative.a lapse, before the other is removedhastily, from its warm embrace.on the stone bench,a gift returned.a heart hurt from rejection,a man spurned.in the wooded park,a heart torn between two choices.an ache buried deep in the reachesa guilt overwhelming all the senses.
grave call
No light can I see, though dawn is here
No warmth can I feel, though the heat adheres
The noise of the world assassinates
Every moment I fear for the grenades
Life in the mud, a living hell
I'm living in my own grave, taking in the smell
*ahh.. i'll continue some other day... haha. I don't know how to go on."
True image
My appearance shines without rubbing
But do you know
my heart was dull and cold
My appearance brings about laughter
But do you know
my heart was crying
I thought i could be strong
I thought i could pull through
I thought my life was my own
And i could decide my path
Could choose my road
Now i know
That the pain within me
Have slowly eaten away my heart
Slowly, slowly i am no longer able
Able to create the happiness that i had
I believe that i can bring it back
I just need time
But between denial and faith is a thin line
I know my line
Help me.
Past's present
Breathing heavily, quick gasps
As horror fills the mind and grabs
I stop
My perspective is cracking
The world around me is breaking
Shivering, the cold fingers taps
As they try to figure the new map
Unreliable
Is the heart as I fumble
In my head the sounds start to mumble
Too long have I been distant
A big gap since the day, they taunt
Overwhelming
Is the new flood of terms and numbers
The foreign questions that murders
One more chance
Searching
Through the crowds for your face
Through the mist for a truth
That I've been looking for in you
Walking
In the night for a reason unclear
In the path where the road is dead
In a place where I can't find a way
To LEAVE......
One more day
To find
The way to break away
One more chance
To see
What I have gave away
And maybe find a way
To maybe get the chance again....
again....
Running
Away from the masqurade
Away from the crowd's torment
Away to another world
Searching
Through the crowds for your face
Through the mist for a truth
That I've been looking for in you
In YOU....
One more day
To find
The way to break away
One more chance
To see
What I have gave away
And maybe find a way
To maybe get the chance again....
again....
Lost Touch
A multitude of words before me unfamiliar faces i seeeach as unfathomable as the restputting me to great testWeariness overtakes my mindunable to findwith ignorance i dinebewilderment bona fidedistant deeps n skies in thy deep n forlorn mindwith heavy heart i fiddlemy thoughts to thy riddletime turns as the prodigal son returns weary n faintmore loss than gainhomecoming yet not forthcomingwhat art or skillthe empty page to fillmysterious delusionsfading apparitionsconfounded my witbeyond my reach
Nature's plight
Stars bright in the sky
Unnoticed, they shine alone
Below the insignificant humans walk
Full of themselves
Not even aware of the beauty above
Stars like diamonds they shine
A gorgeous nature product
Untainted by the works of humans
Or wait, the humans dare try
To add their fake devices in the air
Now which is which the lights in the sky
Of those who noted and took aware
Are those stars or are those not
The beauty of nature
Made unclear
The choice
The clock was ticking
Time was teasing
People were pushing
Stressing
I was forced
Mentally beaten
In the corner
Off the world
I was in an abyss
I was all alone
Lights glaring
Darkness beckoning
Choice
Choose
Make it real
Or break it down
I chose
And then, tears came
They never fell in front of them.
Glass
The news came swiftly and sudden
I was caught unprepared
Not ready for the words
Not ready for the truth
Yet it was forced on me
Down my guts, killing me
My world became glass
Cold, and fragile
Then shattered!
I lived my life no longer with wants
I no longer felt anything
I became a living dead person
Please just tell me if you didn't
For my heart had gave it's all
If what I gave was non-reciprocated
If only I knew.
A tribute to us
We were the ones
Who sat together in recess
Laughed and talked together
Chatted and gossiped
We were The Ones
Whom the rest admired
They were wonder at how deep our friendship was
And how we pulled through times
We should be the ones
Who though distance prevent
Still pour hearts to one another
And mantain our closeness
We were the ones
Will be the ones
That they will always remember
As the trio.
never me..
when she broke your heart,you went to the beach.i followed, close behind,unsure if i was welcome.i sat beside you,watching, waiting,while you cried those endless tears.when they finally ended,you just kept a silent vigil..i wanted to offer you comfort.offer a hug. offer my love..yet you never turned to me, never looked back at me the same way..foolishly, i carried on hoping,hoping one day it'd all change.but the one you loved, wasn't me.it was never me.
a call
i sat by the window and waited,waited aimlessly, listlessly;waited for the phone to ring.each minute crept by,the tick of the second handechoing louder as each second passed.eyes closed, head back,leaning against the wall,i tried to relax.each second was like a darteach minute ripped me aparteach hour tore at my heart.rii-the sudden ring of the phonethe great leap of joythe fluttering sensations..i was happy, so happy.happy beyond my wildest dreams.words cannot seem to expressthe love for you i feelstill, for you i'll try.HI!hello...crash.hello? hello?helloo?are you there?the voice fades away.. my whole world spun.it's not you i want to hear...
nearly..
silver crystals formed,hidden silver crystals.my eyelids drooped,ever so slightly.my breath hitched,hitched so softly.i blinked once,twice, thrice..i nearly cried. nearly.
rock
fingers dancing across the guitar strings,
losing himself in the melody.
music screams, loud and high pitched,
lovely assualt on the senses.
hearts thumping, bodies grooving,
raw energy in the vibes.
emotions freed from their cage..
release, just pure ecstasy.
- inspired by victor smolski's performance at the asian beat band competition grand finals 2oo6. =)
Sounds that matter
(inspired by zu kai)
Tick tick tick tick.
Time goes by.
Without even realizing
We've become close friends.
Tap tap tap tap.
The sound of my pen.
Anxiously waiting
As the result unleashed.
Drip drip drip drip.
Like raindrops they fall.
Wondering why I mind so much
When it was not me that fall.
Wobble wobble wobble wobble
Losing a friend is hard
But never in me a second
You would leave my heart.
Silent relationship
I want to hold the phone
And talk till late night
See time go past
And listen to your voice.
I want to write letters
That can voice my opinion
Read the ink on paper
That voices your views.
I want to be able to
Talk to you
Tell you my feelings
And get the same from you.
Then when I'm uneasy
You'll be there to assure me
To tell me
The truth beneath all truths.
Then you reach out to me
And pass me your warmth
And I understood
You say it best, when you say nothing at all.
Tears
Silver pearls of my eyes
cascading down my cheeks
each bearing
hurts of their origins
Porters of my pain
Crystalline messengers of my heart
Fluid drops catching sunlight
putting my pain to flight
silent sobs of my soul
Where words fail
tears spring forth
they bridge the
unseen
unheard
unspeakable gap
Look upon my lone figure
a sorrow-wracked bodywith tear stained hands
picking up the broken pieces
of my heart
Shakespeare in love
What eyes did I see
That stared back at me
Filled with emotions unspeakable
The gaze that captures me
What fingers grazed my arm
So light and tender
That draws me closer
To the beating heart
Why, before I even knew
Love had crept into my heart
Icy passion so overwhelming
Every moment not spent with thee such painful agony
Then, such fantasy succumbed to reality
Truth had gave away all within grasp
I had fallen unwittingly
Into the deep valley of emptiness
No longer grateful for love's first touch
No longer joyful for the first kiss of the first lip
I'm destroyed, my soul torn apart
Love that filled my life with light, vanished
Distance that fills the gap between us
What ending for such love so pure
And never to set eye on each other again
Never to hear nor feel the rushing blood in thy vein
What sound fills my world now
Only the scratching of my pen
On paper filled with sorrow
Writing up a world with only you and me
