sonGs of oTher laNds: October 2005

Sunday, October 23, 2005

her story.. do you know it?

she lies awake at night,
waiting for the tears to take her away,
far from this world that she lives in.

she tries to cry, she really does.
but the tears that she swallows,
stays within her.

she shuts her eyes, and tries to sleep.
but as much as she calls to it,
sleep eludes her.

she envies those other girls -
girls who turn on their tears like watertaps,
girls who are able to cry when they want to.

she forces herself to be strong;
to keep a straight face and swallow her tears,
when all she wants is just to let it all out.

but late at night, when no one's looking,
she tries, yes she does, to let it all out.
but it doesn't work this way. (when has it ever?)

the lump in her throat only ends up choking her,
while the very thoughts she tries to forget,
haunts her.

she tries to cry out;
searching for release from the pain,
the never ending hurt weighing down on her..

but no one knows..
no one hears..
no one even cares..

Friday, October 14, 2005

how can i

how can i let go,
when everytime you appear
just when i've given up all hope?

how can i stop my tears,
when they just flow
at the slightest thing you do?

how many times,
have i choked back the tears,
the pain, the memories..?

how can i hope to escape,
when you never let me go..?
not truly..

my heart's like a vise around our past..
each time i manage to prise
the fingers of hope apart,
and finally let go,
you appeared in some way..
and caused my whole world
to crash down on me.

i can't go on like this.

- this was a long time ago.. oh well.. a few weeks at least.. cos i cant rmbr anything about it.. oh wells.. -

you don't know

i see you walking on the streets,
strutting about like the whole
world owes you a living.

but you don't know,
you probably don't know,
about what others say
behind your back.

you don't know what's wrong,
you don't know anything.
you only want to be understood.

one day you find out about the lies.
you hate those who spread the rumours,
you seek to confront them.

but you don't know, do you,
that the way you do it,
seems only to prove them right,
deep in their twisted minds.

at first you pretend that everything's ok,
that you got it all under control,
but who are you lying to?

perhaps you think there's
nothing wrong.
perhaps you think it's a cool way of life.
after all, you crave attention.

but do you know that almost everyone
looks down on people like you?

1o oct o5
- sighs.. duno why or who i wrote this for.. but if i have to say something.. it's probably for all the rejects out there in the world.. -

broken trust

you claimed you were my friend
but what kind of friend
lies to you that he is busy,
just so that he could save cash?

i don't understand,
your need to lie.
boy, you know i would have
understood anyway.

your words haunt me..
i cant forget what you admitted.
could you really have not cared
about how i felt?

you were the one i trusted most,
the one i could always turn to.
yet when you gave your excuses,
not once did i doubt you.

i backed off each time
my hand itched to message you.
i knew you were busy
and i sure didn't want to disturb you.

but to betray my trust so!
to lie to me like you did..
to find out that
it was all just a pretense!

i don't know how i can trust
whatever you say anymore.
cos now i cant help wondering,
cos now i cant help doubting.

was it so difficult,
to tell me the truth?
that's all you had to do, y'know..
i would have understood.

o7 sept o5, o3 5o hours

Thursday, October 13, 2005

The lighter

The black mark was made long ago
From the time when I first held a lighter
Ignored all the cautions and warnings
And now I have the dull black mark

You see, it would have healed long ago
But I just could not turn away
The flickering green in the centre of the flame
I just had to hold it again

I'm old and now I know
The meaning of a fire that can hurt
But the black mark that was made long ago
Still remains here, with me

If only time could backtrack itself
And brought me back to the past
I would not have succumbed to the temptation
And committed the hurting mistake twice

ALways the one

I saw your face when you talked about her
I saw your eyes when you thought of her
I saw the way you smiled and said
You wished she could be there with you

I thought about our long long past
I thought about my long long crush
Sometimes I just wish it would stop
So I don't have to think again
*
(chorus)You're always the one who would make me laugh
Always the one who would make me mad
Always the one who would not apologize
Always the one who would walk away

You're always the one who find new girls
Always the one who would wink and grin
Always the one who would talk about her
Always the one who would hide your tears
*
So if you are serious about her
SO if you can really be with her
Just tell me once more about how you feel
So I don't have to think again

*

(bridge)Once more let me see
That you are true to your heart
Once more let me see
That you are not always the one...

You're always the one who would make me laugh
Always the one who would make me mad
Always the one who would not apologize
Always the one who would walk away
*

-well.. i tink this is the second song in this blog.. haha.. I'll add the chords one day, after O lvls, but for now, this is it! =)

Sunday, October 02, 2005

respect, i'm pleading

please don't take me back there
please don't pull me down 'gain
please somebody out there
come & help me hear my cries

please don't hold on to me
please don't grab me too tight
please don't shout in my face
till i cry & cry & cry

i'm shouting for my future
though there's not much to see
left over down & broken
i wanna go away

into my own picture
take it as i've not been through
this torture i bore you
yet you trap me & no one sees.

i'm shouting for my future
though i shouldn't ask for more
i'm getting the respect
the one that's due & for.

-michelle
* i wrote this after what i saw at tanah merah mrt station underground tunnel the day we went for the JC talk.
this pretty old auntie was crying & i don't know if u call it shouting... & this guy was grabbing her hand and pushed her to the wall & shouted at the auntie to go back & don't act silly... i was like... i stopped for a moment, knew that i wanted to do something but in the end i didn't... then later on i don't know why i just got so emotional throughout the train ride back home... yep...*

sonGs of oTher laNds