Paranoid
Feel the heat feel the beat of that empty seat
Feel the rush and that hush don't say anything
Want to be someone else be someone confident
To let you be on your way alone
The spinning room, teary eyes I'm so paranoid
Another glup, drown that jug, getting more annoyed
Want to let go let you go
Let you be on your way alone
Care too much to be there for you
To be your shoulder when you're feeling blue
Care so much I overdo
Paranoid
Pleae let me go now
Check your phone when you're not looking I confess
Read the words and sent sms I go insane
You have your life and your friends who am I to say
Don't leave and be with me
Stalk you out the door yes I'm following
Don't want to but drawn to you I'm still insisting
Pull back cut away no I can't I'm still
standing here, hating myself for being here
Care too much to be there for you
To be your shoulder when you're feeling blue
Care so much I overdo
Paranoid
Please let me go now
A cloud's cry
Stormy is the cloud
That cries when Thunder fight
With Lightning and both hold tight
To their own meaning of Righteous truth
Wait
Rather shrewd each is
Behind the tears they hide
The retreating head, snake's hiss
Light turns dark
And
Breaks the cloud
Nothing matters
Sweetness becomes unbearable as sweetness stains
Bitterness emerge as a reaction
Such feelings should not be here
Yet it is!
Guilt, blame, fault, whose?
Guilt for neglectance
Blame for emotions
Fault for being so caught up
Over these loves which should be chosen?
Which should be taken?
Loves, one for life -no
Both for life
Yet one is a written contract and the other not
Balance
But balance is so hard to attain
Sweetness, bitterness, guilt, anger
All twisted now, like a myraid
Everything jumbled
Confused.
Trees
The forest is filled with trees
All similar yet all so different
They stand, each proud, branishing their leaves
Each wanting to be The one
Each wishing to become something else
Yet they are all of the same template
In a forest, none stands out
At one glance, colours merge and collate
Into a big haystack
From your viewpoint they are the same
But from theirs they can't see such vision
If only you can bestow upon them your mind
Act like a spectacle, give them sight.
Untouchable
What was it before?
A mere kiss? Hug? Love that
Shone no more than that blast
Of fire.
Did you see the person
Within the shell of looks?
Was the character's heart the one
That captivated? Or was it
Nothing more than a
Passing gust of breeze.
A falling leaf is beauty, so is
The rose at full bloom.
We grabbed that moment and enjoyed it
The seconds before the sun rises,
The silence before the first call for daylight
During the night at that longest night,
We took the beauty in everything
And savoured every passing perfection. So
When dawn breaks and it's morning,
the leaf touches ground
The pedals start shedding, following nature's
Call. And we awake, separate,
No longer living in such
Surreal reality.
In process I failed
The needle was heated, overheated
The selection was made, overmade
The thread was chosen to be golden
Carefully crafted, yet not with care
Heavenly wonder plaugh the clouds in the air
All perfectness faded to imperfection in symmetry
No perfectness in colour too, nothing left
Feelings spurred on with a metal jab
Each seam was sewn to be each's best
And yet each's best was too consciously rubbish.
All the respect in the world
Will not earn this title right
All I knew once curled
Sour and sealed tight
I've cried sometimes and all I loved
Now these tears melt fiery hot into tools of hatred
All your life will fade as everything is lose
Will you then, see?
The Correct Mistake
I called again and twice
Each when answered was a wince
Startled and sputtered,
Perhaps I took choice wronged
Took politeness as intention
And made a wrong timed decision
Undo It.
From me to you
Hey now, you're doing it again
Forcing boundaries on me like always
Hey now, you've been trying so hard
To mould me like clay into something else
And always always I don't see me
Neither in the mirror nor anything
You say you're listening but are you really
Cause everytime I speak...
You shut me off
I just wanna be myself
And become what I wanna be
Don't want to constraint to the world
And abide by these sneers
You said that these are good for me
Well, if inflicting hurt is then it is
You lectured to me about bombastic words
And then took away me and gave me you
And always always I don't see me
Neither in the mirror nor anything
You say you're listening but are you really
Cause everytime I speak...
You shut me off
I just wanna be myself
And become what I wanna be
Don't want to constraint to the world
And abide by these sneers
Just wanna live my life
In a way only I can live
Don't want to squeeze into a society
That's too small for both you and me
So there
Now can you hear me out
For once
Just listen to what I'm saying
And I'm just telling you
I'm not like this
I'm not just another person to conquer
Listen... Just listen!
I just wanna be myself
And become what I wanna be
Don't want to constraint to the world
And abide by these sneers
Just wanna live my life
In a way only I can live
Don't want to squeeze into a society
That's too small for both you and me
all messed up
Waiting,
Full of patience.
Watching, silently,
An observer.
Hurt,But too afraid to speak.
Hiding, cowardly,
Behind the lies.
Denial,
An obvious state.
Crying, brokenly,
Deep within the glass walls.
Confused,Hesitant of the future.Uncertainty, seemingly,
Rules every step.
Contradictions,
A bundle of different signals.
Fear,
Of rejection.
-
Somewhere along the way
My heart got stomped on.
I picked up the pieces,
And tried to carry on.
Everything was the same,
Or so I told myself.
In time, my heart mended,
The pain and the scars faded.
I forgot why, I forgot how,
I forgot when, I forgot you.
I forgot what, I forgot where,
I even forgot who.
Only now, when I’ve thought
I’ve finally moved on,
Did I realize,
The scope of the damage done.
When did I learn
To shut my heart?
When did I become
So afraid to trust?
I’m so afraid of so many things,
But most of all, when did I become
So afraid to.. so afraid..
To love?
rain..
The rain’s sending me
Sweet songs of sympathy
Droplets to wash away my sorrow
Cold winds to ease my pain
Grey skies to comfort me
Oh rain! That you would
Wrap me in your cold embrace!
I long for nothing more than
To be in your arms,
Cold, wet and forgotten.
How I wish I could
stroll outside right now.
Feel the rain on my skin,
Soaking my clothes and the wind
On my cheeks.
Raindrops would mix with
My tears, cleansing it all,
Washing them off,
So I would be free again.
And happy.
